Fertility and Hypnosis - when the line turns blue

What a great week, I have been working with a client for a month who came to see me after 3 years of trying for a baby and has now found out that she is pregnant! What an absolute joy it is to be able to help women experience such a wonderful moment - when the line turns blue.

Not many people are aware of the power of hypnosis for fertility. Stress is one of the biggest culprits in stopping people becoming pregnant - it affects both male and female fertility. It makes sense - in times of stress our body reverts to a very primal response and treats that stress as an indication of threat. Would you want to nurture your baby in an environment that is a threat?

It's not uncommon that a women will try to get pregnant for years then after adopting, will finally catch - when she has stopped being anxious about becoming pregnant.

When I see a fertility client for the first time, I always get a very full history and then ask their motivations for starting a family, and ask them to question honestly their reasons for becoming pregnant. What else is going on in their life at the time? Relationships with your parents can contirbute to anxieties or there may be concerns about the impact of a baby on your relationship with your partner.

I work with clients on helping them let go of anxities and fears, do some inner healing through visualisation and help them switch off the conscious desire to get pregnant enabling them to just get on with their lives - trusting in their body to do the rest subconsciously. I always suggest that they chuck the ovulation kit away and get spontanious in their sex life!

If someone is having IVF, hypnosis can increase the chances of success by 50%, but enabling the woman to relax during treatment.

Truly remarkable stuff - I just wish more women were aware of it.

When that thin blue line appears on the stick for a baby that has been long awaited...well I can't really put it into words.

To listen to a sample fertility mp3 http://www.hypnurture.co.uk/hypnobirth/services/blog.asp

Playing with the unborn baby

I've been offline for a week, which has made for a refreshing change. It's interesting how we get so used to having access to technology that when we don't have it we almost feel at a loss. This week I've taken it as an opportunity to play more.

Playing is great fun, both with an unborn child and with your children. I'm not usually alpha mum and not ashamed to admit it - my children are happy & balanced and that's all that matters at the moment. After all they are only 2 and 4. But this week I have spent more time cutting out glittery fish than working and I've loved it.

With pregnancy playing with your unborn child can be great for bonding and for making you take time out to enjoy focusing on the changes that are taking place in your body. If you touch or massage your baby as it moves around inside you, be aware of how its movements - echo the trace and touch of your hand. Talking, singing and reading to your baby are all ways of playing and not only create a relaxing environment for your baby but help you to adjust mentally and emotionally to the arrival of a new family addition.

Having a baby is a big transition - as you moveinto a new stage of your life. I think that getting used the presence of a new little person from before birth to after is very important for both new parents and can help with bonding. Women that have used techniques like this as part of hypnosis for childbirth show reduced signs of post natal depression, and I'm sure that preparing not just for the birth but the changes in your life after birth are essential for adjusting after the birth.

So enjoy playing - get in touch with your inner child and be creative! Now back to those glittery fish.....

It's sometimes hard to remember as an adult how unfamiliar the world is to babies and young children. If you imagine being born, it's similar to swimming under water then emerging to a noisy environment in a crowded pool with sharp sounds and noises. This is why it's so important to maintain a quiet environment for the baby when it is born and why water births are a soothing transition for baby. The outside world is a totally new environment, unfamiliar, and the calm support and familiar noises of mum and dad create a comfort for the baby.

As your baby grows they will mimic you and learn new behaviours through you - as parents you help the children to build their reference framework for the world around them and their life ahead. It's important to do this with love, patience and respect.

I have two toddlers and as much as I try to stay calm sometimes I get frustrated with their lack of compliance, sheer defiance or infighting!

If you tell a child not to do something the first thing he or she will want to do is do it. For example if I say to my 2 year old - Don't slam the door - he has to slam the door to understand why he can't slam the door. If I explain to him patiently and slowly that if he slams the door it makes a loud noise and he may get his fingers stuck in it - he will understand.

I try to remember this all the time, but got a bit of a wake up call with my 4 year old the other day when he simply would not do as he was told, so I ended up shouting at him. This made him upset so we sat down and I apologised for shouting at him, explaining that I find it frustrating that when I ask him to do something important and he doesn't do it. He thought about it a bit and was quiet and then asked me if we could make a deal. The deal was if asked him nicely to do something then he would do it if it meant that I didn't have to shout at him anymore.

What a guy! We negotiated a peaceful conclusion and he does exactly what he is told and if he doesn't I quietly warn him that I am getting frustrated and angry and remind him of our deal.

This made me think again about how truly amazing children are and how important it is to teach them behaviour through love and insight rather than anger and frustration.

Dad's role before and during birth

There was a feature on Radio 5 Live yesterday on dads and their role during labour with the focus on how they were left out of the process. The dad that they interviewed had been left outside the theatre for an hour, uninformed, while his wife had an emergency section. Fortunately this type of event is quite unusual, however it does raise wider questions about the role of fathers in birth preparation and during the birth itself.

The presence of dad during the birth is a relatively new thing, only 30 years ago mum would be wheeled in, knocked out and allowed to "put her face on" before dad came in to greet her. Reports from Ancient Greece show that far back birthing was a woman's domain, women were revered and celebrated - birth was an auspicious event and the men were not part of the process.

There are even some today who agree that men should stay clear of the birthing room. Although controversial this is sometimes true - both partners have to be completely comfortable in their roles. It shouldn't be assumed that mum wants dad there or that dad want to be there, and if there are any reservations then these must be discussed beforehand. For mum to feel secure and to give birth without inhibitions she needs to be completely comfortable and at ease with having her partner there. Likewise if the dad feels uncomfortable at all then he needs to let his partner know and be given the opportunity to talk through these fears.

I had my husband there and wouldn't have had it any other way, but we were well prepared. In my classes I do lots of work on encouraging the dad to understand his role, to learn how he can support his wife physically and emotionally, and to discuss and let go of any anxieties and fears that he is holding on to. My mum said "while the mum holds the baby the dad holds mum and the baby" and I really believe that this was true in my case. My husband gave me the security to allow me to just focus on the baby and nothing else, during the birth and the weeks that followed.

It's really important that the dad learns to bond with the baby and to enjoy the experience prior to birth, it will be a big transition for him as well as the mother and preparing for the new family addition together can really give a relationship steady ground during those first few sleep deprived months.

Postnatal depression in men is largely unrecognised, because men don't have the outlet to discuss it. But there is research ongoing to look at this, and existing research already shows that hypnosis preparation for mothers reduces the risk of postnatal depression. Doing the same for dads, preparing them emotionally can make a real difference to their experience.

So Dads, you can have a role to play, discuss things openly, be honest with your birthing partner and why not do a class which gives you both the chance to take part in preparing and birthing your baby?

Strep B and Natural Delivery

Hypnobirthing Instructors are an interesting mix of Midwives, Doulas, Hypnotherapists and mums who have used hypnobirthing themselves. This means that when you choose your practitioner they will be much more knowledgable in certain areas. As a hypnotherapist I am able to give really deep insight into the process of hypnosis in birth and am able to do additional work with mothers on turning breech babies or managing high blood pressure for example.

However I'm not a midwife or a Doctor, and whilst I learn basic antenatal care as part of my training, I always prefer to refer medical questions back to the parents caregiver. Most of the mums who do come and see me are well instructed in natural childbirth anyway and are surprising adept at seeking out sometimes bizarre remedies for things that crop up during pregnancy.

With the Mongan Course I feel that the parents are expecting a full antenatal proramme and so often ask probing questions about the medical aspects of birth which I'm not always equipped to answer. For this purpose Mongan practitioners have the "Nest" - an online forum where they can ask questions of other practitioners all over the world which makes for fascinating stuff. Hypnotherapists give advise on he hypnotherapy aspect and midwives and Doula's give reassurance on the medical questions that arise.

Recently I had a questions on Step B come up and thrush during pregnancy. I learnt some interesting things about Strep B and Thrush - most importantly I discovered that there is research to prove that waterbirths can actually reduce the risk of infection, so I can reassure mums that they are able to have a waterbirth if they need to take antibiotics because of Strep B and provide them with medical evidence so that they can challenge their caregiver.

These are some of the natural suggestions to get rid of Strep B

• Drink lots of Aloe Vera Juice
• Drink lots of Cranberry Juice
• Eat raw or picked Garlic
• Put a clove of garlic on a piece of string or smother a tampax in raw garlic and put it in your vagina (Garlic has been shown to get rid of Strep B)

If you are going to try some of these, make sure you speak to you medical caregiver before doing so who will be able to give you advise.

Taking time out for yourself

I realised that I hadn't written my blog for almost a week - I normally like to write every day - but I've been really busy and have had to make sure that I look after myself and spend time with my family. So in business speak I guess you could say that I've been prioritising.

When you are pregnant this is really important, many women hold down stressful jobs and have many demands placed on them, particularly if it's not your first baby.

It can be hard to take time out and take yourself somewhere to relax and just let go.

Looking after yourself, means that you are looking after your baby. It's not just taking time out to physically recuperate and re-energise, but to look back or to look ahead and reflect on your life and the changes that are taking place. These emotional adjustments are essential and it was no surprise when I read a report which indicated the hypnosis meant reduced risk of postnatal depression. If you are not prepared for the change sometimes the transition is not as easy as you may think and can lead to anxiety postnatally.

When I work with couples I really try and emphasise how important it is to take time out to meditate on the baby growing within you and to consider how you are choosing to prepare the way for its entry into the world.

Think of it as a new stage in your life, an adventure you are embarking upon where you will be discovering new skills and abilities you weren't even aware that you had. Imagine your remarkable ability to adapt to a new member of your family and to trust in your own intuition.

Rather than working up until the last possible moment, understand that this preparation is as important as spending time with the baby after it has been born and will help you give the best you can. Ask if you can work part time and slowly reduce your hours, giving yourself a good few weeks to just relax and spend time with your family and your unborn child.

Listen to your body, if you feel tired then rest - even if it is just for a few minutes take yourself somewhere quiet. Treat yourself to a pedicure or maybe try some pregnancy massage from someone who is properly trained.

Remember, prioritising is important at home as at work, and when you are pregnant, your biggest priority is you. Look after yourself!