Dad's role before and during birth

There was a feature on Radio 5 Live yesterday on dads and their role during labour with the focus on how they were left out of the process. The dad that they interviewed had been left outside the theatre for an hour, uninformed, while his wife had an emergency section. Fortunately this type of event is quite unusual, however it does raise wider questions about the role of fathers in birth preparation and during the birth itself.

The presence of dad during the birth is a relatively new thing, only 30 years ago mum would be wheeled in, knocked out and allowed to "put her face on" before dad came in to greet her. Reports from Ancient Greece show that far back birthing was a woman's domain, women were revered and celebrated - birth was an auspicious event and the men were not part of the process.

There are even some today who agree that men should stay clear of the birthing room. Although controversial this is sometimes true - both partners have to be completely comfortable in their roles. It shouldn't be assumed that mum wants dad there or that dad want to be there, and if there are any reservations then these must be discussed beforehand. For mum to feel secure and to give birth without inhibitions she needs to be completely comfortable and at ease with having her partner there. Likewise if the dad feels uncomfortable at all then he needs to let his partner know and be given the opportunity to talk through these fears.

I had my husband there and wouldn't have had it any other way, but we were well prepared. In my classes I do lots of work on encouraging the dad to understand his role, to learn how he can support his wife physically and emotionally, and to discuss and let go of any anxieties and fears that he is holding on to. My mum said "while the mum holds the baby the dad holds mum and the baby" and I really believe that this was true in my case. My husband gave me the security to allow me to just focus on the baby and nothing else, during the birth and the weeks that followed.

It's really important that the dad learns to bond with the baby and to enjoy the experience prior to birth, it will be a big transition for him as well as the mother and preparing for the new family addition together can really give a relationship steady ground during those first few sleep deprived months.

Postnatal depression in men is largely unrecognised, because men don't have the outlet to discuss it. But there is research ongoing to look at this, and existing research already shows that hypnosis preparation for mothers reduces the risk of postnatal depression. Doing the same for dads, preparing them emotionally can make a real difference to their experience.

So Dads, you can have a role to play, discuss things openly, be honest with your birthing partner and why not do a class which gives you both the chance to take part in preparing and birthing your baby?